Accept and forgive yourself unconditionally

I’m reading a book by Albert Ellis and Emmet Velten called Optimal Aging: Get Over Getting Older. I opened it randomly and came to a page which had: Accept and forgive yourself unconditionally. It also mentioned shame attacking exercises.

This was a piece of synchronicity because forgiveness is the linchpin of my change work and Transformative Imagination practice. The synchronicity come from the fact that I recently wrote about the shame we feel.

Here is the shame attacking exercise of Albert Ellis:

You basically select something safe (does not get you into trouble) that would shame you in the public. The safe means don’t go around in the public naked or pick someone’s pocket no matter how much it would shame you, but do pick your nose in the public or wear different color socks and show it obviously.

Dr. Ellis writes that thousands of people have done this shame attacking exercise and at first feel great shame and then the shame disappears. To quote from the book, “[they] feel at first somewhat ashamed or humiliated. But when they keep doing them, they often lose practically all sense of shame, and even greatly enjoy the process.”

As you let go of your shame (which comes from the fact that you were once a vulnerable child and had to be stopped from hurting yourself so your parent kept telling you no and shaming you), you can accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally.

This lets you experience the miracle of forgiveness first hand.

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